The Grief Road

Psalm 23:4 (ESV) Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

How did I land in this valley on the journey, called the Grief Road?

I landed in this valley in September - November 2018, in a span of 7 short weeks I lost 2 daughters and a grandson to death. These 2 very tragic, devastating events landed me on the Grief Road. A place I never saw myself walking, an unexpected place, I had never been. All of a sudden & when I say sudden that's exactly how it happened. I was faced with a parent's worst nightmare on this earth. That's truly putting it lightly, nothing can ever prepare you for the loss of a child. Now, I not only had to deal with the loss of a daughter but I also had to face death twice in one day in a 8 hour span of time. My little grandson (Judah Shaun) followed his mom (Kaley) to his place in heaven the same day 8 short hours later. We went from planning a baby shower to planning a double funeral in 8 hours. Kaley was 6 months pregnant with Judah. So I made it through that event (funeral) all to find myself faced with a knock on my front door about 3am just 7 short weeks later to the day, and on the other side stood a police officer asking me my name and if I was the mother of (Brianna). After I said, "yes" the officer asked me if he could come in. Once inside he asked me to sit down and began to inform me there was a horrible car wreck not too very far from where I live and Brianna was in the wreck and she was in surgery and I needed to get to the hospital. Due to injuries sustained in the wreck Brianna lost her life and went to heaven that day in November of 2018 as well. Now it's time to plan another funeral. Once again I found myself sitting at the same Funeral Home, going through the exact same motions as I endured 7 weeks earlier. This is how I landed in the valley of the shadow of death & on the Grief Road.

What a hard valley this is, there's nothing easy about this place. It's a very hard place to endure. I am now almost 5 years down this road in the valley. It doesn't even seem possible that I have been here this long.

I have learned so much in this place, things I never knew, saw, or felt before in my entire journey. I am now here to share my journey and help others along theirs. I haven't walked this road not to help others. When it comes to grief, grief is grief, and there is many that find themselves walking through grief. Although grief hits many, the grief of losing a child is the most unnatural grief you will ever face this side of heaven. Having to say goodbye for now to your child is not natural in any way. It is the absolute hardest situation I have ever faced and then had to walk out & will forever be walking it out as long as I am here and my kids are not. You never get over it, you just learn to deal with it and walk it out. You may be thinking right now, (how) do you walk it out?

I will be sharing how I have walked it out this far with you. I am ready to share and help other parents that find themselves on this road. We will journey down the road together. You're not alone and neither am I.

Psalm 34:18-19 (ESV) The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all.

As you can see from this scripture the Lord is the help for the brokenhearted and will save the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of this journey, but the Lord delivers us out of them all. This is how I have made it this far down this Grief Road. When my faith was tested, when I was thrown into the fire of death. All I could do was cry out to the Lord for my help. This is where the rubber met the road for me, this is where I found myself crushed beyond crushed. My spirit was crushed and wounded like never before in my journey. I had walked with Jesus for many years previous to Sept.-Nov 2018 & not one circumstance I had faced compared to this. I lost my hope for the very 1st time in my journey in the moments in the hospital when the Dr.'s words to me were my daughter had been without oxygen so long now she couldn't live. I got angry 8 hrs. later and hit the dash of my husbands truck more than once when the call came the the baby died in flight as he was being transported to another NICU unit in Texas. I was beyond belief when the officer showed up at my door to tell me my other daughter was in a fatal car crash, 2 of the 4 died on the scene and my daughter later died at the hospital.

So to wrap this blog all up I have been forged in the fires of death and sustained those flames. I have walked every moment with Jesus Christ and He has lead me right here to write my journey. My face is now set like flint and I am here to help others who have or will face this same affliction, the death of a child or children. I am here to help those who may have been in this valley of the shadow of death for many years enduring the Grief Road. This road is not ever meant to walk alone.

Stay with me, as we walk together. I will include some blogs from a mother's grieving heart & also some from my amazing Husbands grieving heart as he has walked alongside me and with me through it all. Death has done a work within our hearts and journey that no other affliction in this journey we are on could. It's been hard, real and at times very messy. But through it all we have endured and grown stronger. My heart is to help every grieving parent along their Grief Road. Women and Men grieve differently and this is where you need both sides of this & this is where you will hear our hearts.

Be Blessed,

Follow me as I Follow Jesus,

Tracey Lynn