The Grief Road: Thanksgiving

"In every situation (no matter what the circumstances) be thankful and continually give thanks to God: for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus."

1Thessalonians 5:18 (amp)

As Thanksgiving approaches, let's talk about the first celebration without your child.

This blog will be for grieving parents, specific to grieving moms. I am focusing on the moms because I am a grieving mom. I will, for the rest of my journey on this earth, be a grieving mom and so will you. Nothing will ever change that for me or for you. Men and women grieve in different ways. I can only write about my experiences as a grieving mom and the firsts.

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I have been on this grief road for 5 years now and 4 sets of holidays. Parents often think about the last time they saw their child, and recall the last birthday, holiday, or special occasion they shared with their child. Additionally, they remember the last Thanksgiving they spent with their child. Each mom will have that first holiday spent without their child. Let's talk, this is not an easy place to be. This a place you never saw yourself being in, or walking through. Although you didn't see it coming I want you to know Jesus did.

Before we get too far into this blog, I want you to know your help through this very first holiday will only come from Jesus. I can't tell you how to do this without Jesus. Your first will not be easy in any kind of way, your emotions will most likely be all over the place. As you begin to prepare yourself for Thursday, November 23, 2023, begin to allow Jesus to hold your heart. You may or may not be preparing the meal, but inside, the thoughts and emotions of facing this day without your child present are already there. You know it never goes away.

The first is by far the hardest, or it has been my experience so far. There's an empty seat at the table and a forever empty place within your heart. I can't even tell you that I remember where I had Thanksgiving or what I ate that year. There is something in grief many refer to as the fog of grief, I refer to it as the favor of God resting upon you. If you are in that fog still, you know what I am talking about. It's a very special time and a very hard time all at once. This is a time that Jesus is so near to you. His word says He's near to the brokenhearted and He is very near to a grieving mother's heart. This is a time you learn to lean into Him like never before.

Your key is to re-focus as quickly as you can.

As you spend your first this year, please hear me. Lean in very close. Your help to endure this season will come when you lean in and stay close to Jesus. Once it's all over, you will be amazed at how you made it. Details are something I normally pay attention to and remember. Although during my first's, I don't remember hardly any details. I can only remember that I made it. I made it with Jesus walking with me and holding my heart.

I want you to also do this, take time to remember. Take time to remember memories with your child and the Thanksgivings you did spend with your child or in some cases like mine, children. When our memories become all we have left, they become a treasure we never forget. Take time to be thankful for things that only you remember about your child. What was your child's favorite part of Thanksgiving? Was it the food, the games you may have played, or the Thanksgiving parade on TV? Smile as you remember your child and their favorite part of the Thanksgiving day. You need these moments, as you will have your moments filled with tears that roll down your face and within your heart.

You will need to refocus many times within this season of your firsts and that's the key to surviving the firsts. Refocus if you must.

If you stay too long in the sorrow of not having your child it is hard to pull yourself up from there. Don't allow yourself to stay there. I'm not telling you not to feel it or go through the moments (the waves) that come, but please don't remain there. Mom's, I am speaking into your heart. You must endure this and you will. This is a journey down a road and it is a tough road. Remember this, you only have to endure your firsts once. Your key is to re-focus as quickly as you can. I am praying for every grieving parent as we endure and walk this road.

I am here for any of you and will be glad to take any special prayer requests during this time. Send me a message and I will be praying for you.

Please, don't try to do this on your own. The first's are so hard. Don't focus on the empty chair at the table, if you have to, take the chair away from the table where your child once sat. I had to finally get a new table. It was so hard for me to have my table in my kitchen, every time I looked at those chairs where my girls once sat, it hurt over and over again. A smaller table, one they had never sat at, helped me. I don't what your hardest struggle will be, but I do know that anything is possible with Jesus. This includes being a mom who is grieving and going through your first Thanksgiving without your child.

Follow me as I follow Jesus,

Down the grief road